The Committee to Nuke Elysium

Just after tomorrow, a spaceship filled with plucky adventurers will land on our planet’s surface. They will see our species, residing in mobile hell-fortresses circled by tireless killer robot drones and rings of dead birds, their stomachs stuffed with plastic. After a suspenseful quest, they will find the bowels of these machines powered by a constant stream of cute, innocent-looking animals; with the occasional dissident tossed into the furnace for good measure.

Such a monstrous race of tyrants, they will conclude, must be stopped.