No matter what that slut says, the only new show I never miss is “True Blood” (9 p.m. Sundays on HBO). Admittedly, Alan Ball’s kooky vampire mystery baffled me at first. I guess I half-expected those small-town vampires to seduce the mortals in their midst with vitriolic psychoanalysis and ultra-witty complaints about the pretensions of art school, then adopt scrappy, adorable foster children, indulge in illicit affairs with relative strangers, and finally, fall down dead from scary brain infections out of the blue. (Narm!)

Instead, Ball offered up a kitschy town full of oddballs and misfits with seriously fake Southern accents. For someone who grew up in the South, these exaggerated drawls couldn’t be more chafing. Imagine a British guy attending a production of “Hamlet” put on by a bunch of 8th graders in Texas, and you get the idea. Tara (Rutina Wesley) is particularly awful at the Southern drawl, and seriously needs to tone it down. That’s the trick, see? You take your idea of a Southern accent (hopefully not derived from watching “Gone With the Wind” because, uh, those accents were fake, too) and then you cut it in half. Otherwise, you sound like a space alien.

Hector (Karra Elejalde) is relaxing on a lawn chair outside of his new country home, surveying the nearby hillside through a pair of binoculars, when he catches sight of what appears to be a nude woman amidst the trees. Hiking up to investigate, he is attacked by a sinister figure whose head is wrapped in a grotesque pink bandage. Fleeing in terror, he takes refuge in a laboratory atop the hill, where a lone attendant (Vigalondo) ushers him into a peculiar scientific contraption. He emerges what seems to be moments later, only to find that he has traveled back hours in time, setting in motion a brain-twisting, horrifying chain of events when he inadvertently runs into himself.